Flirting

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By Martha Beck


(OPRAH.com) -- We'd been waiting
30 minutes for someone to take
our order in a busy Mexican
restaurant when my friend Cathy
decided to take extreme measures.

Expert: Different flirting techniques
can get you anyone or the one you
really want.

"Watch this," she whispered. Then she
tugged the clip from her hair, opened
a collar button, and tossed her head
like a frolicking foal. Almost magically,
she went from being simply beautiful to
what is referred to in the vernacular as
"like, totally hot."

Three waiters rushed our table like
linebackers. Cathy fluttered her lashes
at one, cooing, "Hon, could we order
now?" It was a virtuoso performance of
attraction in action.

For me, this was like watching documentary
footage about something ("Mating Behavior
Among Bipedal Primates of the American
Southwest") that I've never personally
experienced. It's not that I totally lack
skills like Cathy's. She can toss her head
and attract men; I can -- to cite just one
example -- toss fried chicken and attract
cats.

But I could never use feminine wiles the way
Cathy can. I'm not sure I've ever had a
single wile. I used to enjoy pitying myself
for this, until one day I realized that
everyone for whom I've felt genuine sexual
interest eventually expressed reciprocal
interest in me. While shortchanging me
compared with Cathy, Mother Nature still
provided me with the instinctive ability
to make the connections I really wanted.

Now, if you have Gisele Bündchen problems
(your Manolo Blahniks keep skidding in
puddles of drool left by lustful admirers),
please turn directly to an underwear ad
and enjoy the company of other genetically
blessed people like you. This column
contains instructions on seduction for
the rest of us. Oprah.com: How to reconnect
with your inner bombshell.

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My reaction would have been to wait until
a waiter came over. I would of started
a conversation to lighten-up the
atmosphere. Yes, I would have used
the one word conversation starter.

What would you have done?