Ask me a question, or leave me
a comment.
So your lady wants to start going to the gym—and she wants you to show her what to do. It's the moment you've been waiting for. This is your chance to spend time together—in your element (rather than at the mall). It's your opportunity to flaunt your vast knowledge of weight training, and help her look even hotter! To keep you from screwing it up, we've developed a checklist for leading her through the weight room from Day One.
1.) Forget your own training.
"If you're trying to show off by demonstrating how much you can lift, you're going to have problems," says Rachel Cosgrove, a strength and conditioning coach and co-owner of Results Fitness in Santa Clarita, Calif. "She wants you to pay attention to her." This means concentrating on moves that she can do and enjoy (unless you want a dumbbell dropped on your foot).
2.) Say the right things.
Feed her compliments—and try to ensure that she processes them as such. "Don't say, 'Wow, your arms are getting so big,' or, 'You're looking really buff!'" says Cosgrove. "If a woman hears that, she might never come back with you to the gym." Instead, reinforce her work by telling her that her arms are really "toned," or that her legs are "defined."
3.) Know what she wants.
Her goals are to burn calories and fat, and get more "shapely." So take it easy on the isolation exercises, use lighter weights and higher reps, and keep her moving. "Women are multitaskers," says Cosgrove. "They want combination exercises, compound movements, and circuit sets." In terms of body parts, she's concerned with her legs, glutes, and—most of all—abs. "As much as guys love the bench press, that's how much women love ab work," says Joe Stankowski, a trainer of pageant contestants in Wilmington, Del. So grab a Swiss ball and crunch!
4.) Disguise the workout.
Women often fear weights, so hide weight training in moves like medicine-ball squats and med-ball overhead presses. You can also use those colored, plastic kettlebells for figure eights and swings. And here are always cable moves like wood chops. She will find these exercises more fun and less intimidating, and she won't feel like she's turning into the Incredible Hulkette.
5.) Think outside the gym.
Stankowski has his female clients drag weighted sleds and flip tractor tires. "They love it, because it's so different that it's interesting," he says. "And it gives them confidence because they feel like they're doing something no other woman is doing."
6.) Play the metabolism card.
"Girls tend to gravitate toward inner-thigh machines, leg extensions, and other machines and exercises that aren't so useful, " says Brian Grasso, a strength coach in Chicago. Rather, women should be doing squats and deadlifts because they involve a great deal of muscle recruitment, "which leads to a more aesthetically pleasing physique and increases their metabolic rate significantly," says Grasso. Tactfully point out these facts to leverage your girlfriend away from the inefficient machines and toward the free-weight movements. As much as she dislikes iron, she hates cellulite even more.
7.) Challenge her.
See who can do the most jump squats in a minute. Or who can lift the most proportionally, says Grasso, who regularly works out with his ex-figure-skater girlfriend. Start with Romanian deadlifts at 50% of your body weight and work your way up. The winner is the one who can lift the higher percentage. Grasso says battles like this push him, because he hates losing to a girl. "If you have a competitive girl and work body percentage into a friendly dare, you're both going to see massive gains."
=====================================================================================
Food for thought.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
10 ways to tell if your relationship is based on sex by Brandi Fleeks
Ask me a question, or leave me
a comment.
10) The deepest conversation you have is in bed. Either during the deed or after, you two divulge you inner-most secrets between the sheets.
You rarely have a conversation outside of the bedroom. When you do have any meaningful conversation it is pillow-talk, mostly about sex. It can be from your first or most horrendous sexual experiences to the bad sexual escapades of your friends. You avoid conversation that involves any deep insight about yours or your “significant other’s life.” Rather than talk about your hopes and dreams, you keep the conversation to something that won’t make your bed partner uncomfortable, and make sure to avoid anything that shows your intelligence or any inkling of ambition.
9) Any argument always ends up with the two of you naked.
Sure make-up sex is fun and satisfying and could possibly lead to the resolution of a nonsense argument, but all you do is end up in the sack when an argument starts. You don’t actually work out whatever it was that started the argument and you don’t really seem to care. As long as the two of you are naked, you are satisfied. This kind of thing can be enjoyable in the beginning but all it does is leave unresolved issues to the last moment when you are at odds with your lover. You’ve never come to a resolution to anything and now it is too late for you to talk it out. You’ve been having sex whenever either of you takes issue with any aspect of your relationship and now it’s coming to an end all either of you has to show for it is the hickey you got when you were hot and heavy over a disagreement.
8) Your friends call him/her Mr. Lover lover or some variation of that.
You don’t know what your bed buddy’s last name is, and to be honest, you really don’t care. You’re having fun with your sack sessions and nothing can convince you otherwise, even when your friend invites you to her 25th birthday party and the invitation says, Melissa and “friend.” The only thing your friends know about him/her is where you met and how many times you or she stayed the night at your place.
7) You don’t know any of her family member’s names.If in all your bedroom convos not once did your bedmate mention his or her family member’s names your relationship is base on sex. This does not include names of exes or friends. These names probably come up more than mom or dad’s names. If you can’t discern between a sister or mother’s name, chances are you have only been given the bare minimum of personal information and your relationship is nothing other than a sack session away from “this isn’t working out.
6) You’ve never had a first date.
Okay, so you met one night at your friend’s celebration or birthday party and you happened to end up naked with your now-booty buddy. You didn’t discuss how you knew the person or even how you knew anyone else at the party. That’s fine, but now you don’t even know how your “friend” knew the person or even a friend of the person the night you went home with him/her. You are pretty much on a don’t ask don’t tell basis. This, does not a relationship make.
Since meeting you’ve never ventured far from the bedroom and you don’t really have any desire to do so. You like being on a “from the living room to the bedroom” status and nothing you or your friends think can make you change your mind. You aren’t interested in learning the inner workings of your booty buddy’s mind and any attempt from him/her just makes you lose interest. You are in a relationship baed on sex and you like it.
5) What color are his/her eyes?
You barely made enough contact, before you ended up naked, to determine what eye-color your bed-mate has. Sure this doesn’t sound like a problem but when it comes time for gift buying you are at a loss as to what this person really likes. You’ve spent most of the time in darkened rooms naked together and you haven’t found out much about your bed-mate to discern whether he/she likes the color blue or the color red. If you don't know if her/his eyes are brown, green or blue you might want to ask yourself why are are spending so much time between the sheets with him/her
4) You have nothing in common.
You don’t know what he does for a living, what is favorite football team is, what is favorite color is or what he thinks about the death penalty. You’ve spent all your time pleasing each other, and none of your time getting to know each other. Your only real divulgences to each other have been whether or not you enjoy being spanked or have a predilection to being tied up. There is nothing wrong with this but when it comes time to interact in pubic, you are at a loss for what to say to each other.
3) When you go shopping, you only shop for condoms.
So you manage to make it outside the bedroom. You’re at the store and all you can think to compromise on is the type of condom to buy. He thinks you should get ribbed for her pleasure, glow in the dark, everlasting pleasure condoms. You don’t argue and you even forget what you went to the store for. This would not be such a problem but you’ve known each other for four weeks and still don’t know each other’s last names.
2) Over the phone, all your conversation end up in phone sex.
Phone sex is fine, but it takes more than sexual chemistry to establish a lasting relationship. If when your “guy/girl” calls you and you can think of nothing other than what he/she is wearing and/or what you would like to do to him/her, your relationship is based on sex and sex alone. You are going to have to find out more about that person and how can build a lasting relationship if that is what you want.
1) You can’t stand to hear the person speak outside of the bedroom.
______________________________________________________________________
How is your relationship?
a comment.
10) The deepest conversation you have is in bed. Either during the deed or after, you two divulge you inner-most secrets between the sheets.
You rarely have a conversation outside of the bedroom. When you do have any meaningful conversation it is pillow-talk, mostly about sex. It can be from your first or most horrendous sexual experiences to the bad sexual escapades of your friends. You avoid conversation that involves any deep insight about yours or your “significant other’s life.” Rather than talk about your hopes and dreams, you keep the conversation to something that won’t make your bed partner uncomfortable, and make sure to avoid anything that shows your intelligence or any inkling of ambition.
9) Any argument always ends up with the two of you naked.
Sure make-up sex is fun and satisfying and could possibly lead to the resolution of a nonsense argument, but all you do is end up in the sack when an argument starts. You don’t actually work out whatever it was that started the argument and you don’t really seem to care. As long as the two of you are naked, you are satisfied. This kind of thing can be enjoyable in the beginning but all it does is leave unresolved issues to the last moment when you are at odds with your lover. You’ve never come to a resolution to anything and now it is too late for you to talk it out. You’ve been having sex whenever either of you takes issue with any aspect of your relationship and now it’s coming to an end all either of you has to show for it is the hickey you got when you were hot and heavy over a disagreement.
8) Your friends call him/her Mr. Lover lover or some variation of that.
You don’t know what your bed buddy’s last name is, and to be honest, you really don’t care. You’re having fun with your sack sessions and nothing can convince you otherwise, even when your friend invites you to her 25th birthday party and the invitation says, Melissa and “friend.” The only thing your friends know about him/her is where you met and how many times you or she stayed the night at your place.
7) You don’t know any of her family member’s names.If in all your bedroom convos not once did your bedmate mention his or her family member’s names your relationship is base on sex. This does not include names of exes or friends. These names probably come up more than mom or dad’s names. If you can’t discern between a sister or mother’s name, chances are you have only been given the bare minimum of personal information and your relationship is nothing other than a sack session away from “this isn’t working out.
6) You’ve never had a first date.
Okay, so you met one night at your friend’s celebration or birthday party and you happened to end up naked with your now-booty buddy. You didn’t discuss how you knew the person or even how you knew anyone else at the party. That’s fine, but now you don’t even know how your “friend” knew the person or even a friend of the person the night you went home with him/her. You are pretty much on a don’t ask don’t tell basis. This, does not a relationship make.
Since meeting you’ve never ventured far from the bedroom and you don’t really have any desire to do so. You like being on a “from the living room to the bedroom” status and nothing you or your friends think can make you change your mind. You aren’t interested in learning the inner workings of your booty buddy’s mind and any attempt from him/her just makes you lose interest. You are in a relationship baed on sex and you like it.
5) What color are his/her eyes?
You barely made enough contact, before you ended up naked, to determine what eye-color your bed-mate has. Sure this doesn’t sound like a problem but when it comes time for gift buying you are at a loss as to what this person really likes. You’ve spent most of the time in darkened rooms naked together and you haven’t found out much about your bed-mate to discern whether he/she likes the color blue or the color red. If you don't know if her/his eyes are brown, green or blue you might want to ask yourself why are are spending so much time between the sheets with him/her
4) You have nothing in common.
You don’t know what he does for a living, what is favorite football team is, what is favorite color is or what he thinks about the death penalty. You’ve spent all your time pleasing each other, and none of your time getting to know each other. Your only real divulgences to each other have been whether or not you enjoy being spanked or have a predilection to being tied up. There is nothing wrong with this but when it comes time to interact in pubic, you are at a loss for what to say to each other.
3) When you go shopping, you only shop for condoms.
So you manage to make it outside the bedroom. You’re at the store and all you can think to compromise on is the type of condom to buy. He thinks you should get ribbed for her pleasure, glow in the dark, everlasting pleasure condoms. You don’t argue and you even forget what you went to the store for. This would not be such a problem but you’ve known each other for four weeks and still don’t know each other’s last names.
2) Over the phone, all your conversation end up in phone sex.
Phone sex is fine, but it takes more than sexual chemistry to establish a lasting relationship. If when your “guy/girl” calls you and you can think of nothing other than what he/she is wearing and/or what you would like to do to him/her, your relationship is based on sex and sex alone. You are going to have to find out more about that person and how can build a lasting relationship if that is what you want.
1) You can’t stand to hear the person speak outside of the bedroom.
______________________________________________________________________
How is your relationship?
Friday, June 12, 2009
Online relationships are still boosted by the human factor by Rose Gordon
Ask me a question, or leave
me a comment.
At the Vocus conference in Washington this week, keynote speaker David Plouffe, manager for Barack Obama's presidential campaign, emphasized the importance of personal relationships to the success of communications.
He noted that it's impossible – and unwise – to avoid digital avenues, something the Obama team excelled at, to be sure. In fact, he said part of the team's success was its attempt to be everywhere: online, offline, an hour of local media at every campaign stop, and even sports radio – places where swing voters might be lurking. In other words, seeking out those hidden audiences that will make a difference to success.
It was the technology that “enabled us to move our message in a much more effective and powerful way,” Plouffe said. Yet, it was the campaign's ability to motivate “surrogates” – volunteers – that talked to their friends and neighbors about Obama's message that allowed it to truly succeed because no one can be everywhere at once, he noted.
“A human being talking to a human being in person is the most effective communications,” he said to the ballroom full of communicators, who were no doubt Tweeting and e-mailing throughout the conference.
I found this statement striking in a digital age, especially coming from the campaign manager of a candidate who has since been dubbed the “first tech president.” But these lessons clearly apply across social media, where new types of personal relationships are being forged.
Brands and companies are focused on engaging with their group of influencers, those who will move the needle in their favor. Also at the conference was Brian Solis, principal of FutureWorks, who noted the need to not lose track of the “magic middle” – your influencers who might not be on Twitter or top-tier media, but who are talking about your brand on Yahoo groups, for example.
Establish a relationship with them, listen to them, respond to them, and let them be your surrogates. Foster a real human-to-human relationship with them, and then let them sing your praises.
Brand ambassadors are nothing new, but there's a greater potential for amassing them online, for scaling up, so they can do a virtual door-to-door of your undecided voters. Personally, I've noticed that I respond a little quicker and take a closer look when someone I chat with on Twitter – probably someone I've never even met – sends me something to review. And it's because they've formed that initial personal relationship with me – we might have both Tweeted about a favorite New York bar, discussed our pets, or complained about the rainy weather on any given day. I think about them as people. Though it's an online bond, it's still about bringing a personality to it.
In any area of life, effective communication will
win the day.
me a comment.
At the Vocus conference in Washington this week, keynote speaker David Plouffe, manager for Barack Obama's presidential campaign, emphasized the importance of personal relationships to the success of communications.
He noted that it's impossible – and unwise – to avoid digital avenues, something the Obama team excelled at, to be sure. In fact, he said part of the team's success was its attempt to be everywhere: online, offline, an hour of local media at every campaign stop, and even sports radio – places where swing voters might be lurking. In other words, seeking out those hidden audiences that will make a difference to success.
It was the technology that “enabled us to move our message in a much more effective and powerful way,” Plouffe said. Yet, it was the campaign's ability to motivate “surrogates” – volunteers – that talked to their friends and neighbors about Obama's message that allowed it to truly succeed because no one can be everywhere at once, he noted.
“A human being talking to a human being in person is the most effective communications,” he said to the ballroom full of communicators, who were no doubt Tweeting and e-mailing throughout the conference.
I found this statement striking in a digital age, especially coming from the campaign manager of a candidate who has since been dubbed the “first tech president.” But these lessons clearly apply across social media, where new types of personal relationships are being forged.
Brands and companies are focused on engaging with their group of influencers, those who will move the needle in their favor. Also at the conference was Brian Solis, principal of FutureWorks, who noted the need to not lose track of the “magic middle” – your influencers who might not be on Twitter or top-tier media, but who are talking about your brand on Yahoo groups, for example.
Establish a relationship with them, listen to them, respond to them, and let them be your surrogates. Foster a real human-to-human relationship with them, and then let them sing your praises.
Brand ambassadors are nothing new, but there's a greater potential for amassing them online, for scaling up, so they can do a virtual door-to-door of your undecided voters. Personally, I've noticed that I respond a little quicker and take a closer look when someone I chat with on Twitter – probably someone I've never even met – sends me something to review. And it's because they've formed that initial personal relationship with me – we might have both Tweeted about a favorite New York bar, discussed our pets, or complained about the rainy weather on any given day. I think about them as people. Though it's an online bond, it's still about bringing a personality to it.
In any area of life, effective communication will
win the day.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Why Does My Family Oppose My Choices?
Ask me a question, or leave me a
comment.
I was on another web site, and
came across a similar question
to the following.
"Why does family oppose my
choices.?"
There are many reasons families
oppose their off-spring's choices.
It's not uncommon to have
opposing views with one's
family.
Still, when there are opposing
views, find common ground.
Find a time when everyone is
relaxed. Perhaps, at dinner,
television hour, before work,
school, on the way to work,
school, or an evening sitting
outside. Is there a time your
family gather at one place,
sometime during the day?
Pick that time to express
yourself.
If necessary, call members
who aren't there, but need
to hear what you have to
say.
If you're making or
trying to make choices,
it reflects the fact that you
are establishing your
independence.
"I can't talk to them." You
said.
Yes, you can.
Take a look at how to
talk to families when
there's a problem.
Take a deep breath, several
if needed. Explain how you
feel. Take your time. Don't
argue.
Take a another deep breath
if you feel emotion building.
Let them share their reasons,
actions, for appearing to oppose
your choices.
Advise them that you need
understanding, and to let you
make choices, mistakes.
Some choices will not be the
better one, but you have to
make errors to grow as a
human being.
It's part of the life
learning process .
Also, you'll listen to their
advice too. After all, you
couldn't have made it to this
point without their love.
Learn to talk to families, and
you can talk to anyone. It's
a skill you'll be glad you learned,
but it starts at home.
Likewise, if you duck-n-hide from
family on opposing views, how will
you handle life, other relationships?
Believe me, I know families can be
tough critics, but so is any issue
in life.
It's a matter of standing-up
for what you believe in.
Finally, it doesn't matter who
opposes your views, take a
stand.
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