The Third Side of Domestic Abuse

The third side of domestic abuse is standing up for family, friends and siblings. Males are taught the role from an early age. Females are instructed to fight back when there are no males to fill the position. It is not just the norm for a specific segment of society. Think about it. How many people have you heard say, "I'll get 'em back for you." Or, "we'll get 'em." This belief or attitude is carried within until an incident like what Ray Rice, the former Balitimore Ravens running back, did to his then fiancée, Janay Palmer.

TMZ exposed a clip ( http://www.tmz.com/videos/0_ekaflcqq/) displaying how in February at one Atlantic City casino Rice knocked his, at the time, fiancee down and unconscious. The video became the topic of conversation on social media, office coolers and streets. Rice's behavior ignited talk about violence against women and the violence on Palmer. The third side of domestic abuse has to be recognized for what it is and managed. Some people grow pass the third side of domestic abuse without intervention. They learn to talk without fists.

Domestic violence is learned in childhood, research shares. Adults were studied as children who witnessed violence against those they loved and who cared for them. The people studied declared to never take part in domestic violence, but, often, they do. 

Rice's behavior has spread controversy on the NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell as to whether or not Goodell should step down (http://www.cbsnews.com/news/ray-rice-controversy-roger-goodell-facing-increasing-scrutiny-from-nfl/). Goodell maintained that the first video made him uneasy, but the "extremely graphic" video made him ill, CBS news. The league office was not aware of a video until it became public on Monday, Goodell. When the league gained knowledge of Rice's video can not change the third side of domestic abuse.

This is a teachable moment. All of the leagues should take notes. Each league should use preventative measures. Talk about domestic abuse in a warm and understanding atmosphere. Domestic abuse has to be addressed as it is found. Employ the necessary experts to handle it. Teach classes on domestic abuse. When people learn better, they live productive and less abusive lives. 

The third side of domestic abuse as it relates to Rice is yet to be written. Rice is talented and able to perform on the football field. There's a new lesson for him to learn, like so many others about walking away instead of using physical violence. He and his wife can get the necessary help, live well and Rice may, again, play football.